Unbroken Glass

You know the movie ‘Snatch?’ I loved it. It was such a great movie.
I’m one of those people who walks around quoting lines from their best movies,
so when my Har-Nof connections phoned me and told me that they had a German guy for me, I knew I had to say yes. Just so I could walk around
saying ‘Before ze Germanz get zere.’
It was a source of great amusement to me for a couple of days. And then the
day came when I actually had to go out with him.
I spent the whole day saying ‘I must get to the shidduch on time. Before ze
Germanz get zere.’
He wanted to meet at a hotel lobby. Insisted, really. I didnt care.
whatever it takes.

So you know how most girls spend at least an hour getting ready for a shidduch? Like they shower, get dressed, put on makeup very carefully, get
dressed again, hover indecisively around their cupboard for awhile, and then
finally get pushed out of the house by their flatmates…
My day was a little different.
First, I went to school.
Then I went and ran around for a while buying things for a school project.
Then I had work. Not in Jerusalem. Quite far from Jerusalem actually, and
I had to go.
And work is where I missed the bus that was supposed to take me back to
Jerusalem on time to get ready for my date, and arrive ‘Before ze Germanz get
zere’!
I took the next bus – an hour later. An hour and a half before my date.
I got to Jerusalem thirty-two minutes before my date was scheduled. I was
carrying my school bag and the school project stuff and wearing my terrible
school clothes and I smelled like bus.
I dont really know how I did it, but somehow I got to my flat, davened mincha (so frum), changed my clothes, put on makeup and got to the hotel lobby all in thirty-five minutes.
Only three minutes late.
But it was three minutes too late.
Alas, I was not ‘zere before ze Germanz.’
He had already arrived.. Conspicuous in his punctuality. I mean for crying
out loud, I’ve waited for guys for so long on shidduchim, guys are sometimes SO
LATE, too cool to get to the date on time. Why him? Why did he have to be on time?

I really felt like I’d failed the directors of Snatch.
The movie belonged to me no more.
I got to the lobby and looked around. Spotted him in less than a minute.
Waited for him to approach me. He did. We sat down.
We spoke. He had a German accent.
Or maybe it was just my overactive imagination.
I really wanted him to have a German accent.
I wasnt really interested in what he had to say. I dont think he sensed that.
I asked him why did he become frum. He started by saying he was always very
smart and intellectual.
I just had to interrupt him and said “and very arrogant”, smiling.
but he didnt get the joke. how dull.
Let’s just say that he was a talkative guy. He talked. And talked.
He talked about me. He talked about how rich he was. He talked about
Germany before the war. The German economy. German youth today. He talked about romantic Germany, when young boys used to serenade the young girls under their windows. In German, I presume.
He didnt really. I was kind of having my own conversation with him in my
head. In German.
He told me he wanted to buy a laptop. That excited me – ‘Oh’ I said, ‘are
you into computers?’
‘Wow’ I thought, ‘I’m gonna have a cool husband with a laptop’. I’m so deep.
‘What for?’ I asked him.
To get in touch with my German contacts. Please.
‘To save my poetry on,’ he explained. ‘I write poetry and I worry that I’ll
lose it because it’s all on paper. I want to save it in a laptop.’
I was so disappointed in him that I couldnt speak.
Finally I told him we had to go home. It was really a hectic day and well,
I took it pretty hard, the fact I wasnt there on time, before ze germanz
got zere, it was all very depressing really.

I was polite.
After all, he was German.
Told him we should go.
He agreed with me. He told me that it would be good to ‘Save some for next
time. Cherish the magic.’
I didnt feel the magic. Not even a drop of magic. Maybe he was just being
poetic.
It’s a good thing he’s buying a laptop.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 30th, 2002 at 4:51 pm and is filed under She. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.