Unbroken Glass

Do you sometimes feel the need to be close to someone? Share intimacy with your beloved?

One of my more interesting shidduchim was a good-looking guy who I now
call The Idiot.

The shadchan called me one afternoon, late last year, and told me he had a real catch this time. I told him I wasnt interested, but he persisted, telling me this guy was simply too good to be true, good-looking, funny, interesting, great sense of humour –
I capitulated.

I got to the shidduch looking, shall we say, not my best. Hadn’t showered, not much make-up, and in a ridiculously bad mood.
The truth was, I knew my shadchan, so I was expecting somebody with a few false teeth and no hair, but interestingly enough, the guy who approached me and said oh so elegantly – Are you _______? – had a likeness to Keanu Reeves that I found, well, rather charming.
I loved The Matrix.

In any event, we sat down, me cursing myself for not heaping on the mascara and
lip-gloss, and we started talking. We even ordered coffee.
After about five minutes, I realized that the shadchan hadnt let me down. This boy was about as boring as a deck of cards.
Conversation was stilted, to say the least. To be honest, I didn’t even try. What was the point?
He made a couple of attempts, asking me about my family, my views on religion and the political situation – fascinating stuff all of it – but I couldnt be bothered.
I just waited for the evening to end.
For a polite amount of time to pass before I could stand up and say, Wow its been great, oh look at the time…

And so it went.
I kept looking at my watch.
Eventually he stood up and said, I’ll walk you outside.
Thank G-d!
He paid the bill and we left.
I think I should mention now that at no point in the evening did I try to hide the fact that I was in a horrible mood; I did not try to be witty and charming, in fact I was downright mean.
Kind of scary.

We got outside – and he turned to me suddenly, and said, in a throaty voice – I have a proposal for you. A daring proposal – but if I tell it to you, you can’t tell the shadchan.
Yay! sang my heart. A joint! He’s going to offer me a joint! Just what I need to recover from this all-encompassing depression.
He looked down at me, and said softly, You look so sad – if you need me to, I can hug you.
WHAT?!
Excuse me? I said.
A hug, he said. You look like you need one. And I dont mind helping you out here.
I dont mind hugging you.
I looked at him. My head took off a few minutes to compose a suitable reply.
It’s not going to happen, I said finally.
No, but –
It’s. Not. Going. To. Happen.

For Gd’s sakes, I’m FRUM.
I drove home in despair.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 30th, 2002 at 4:57 pm and is filed under She. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.