Apology
Hi.
You’ve probably noticed that one of the recent stories I’ve posted has disappeared.
I managed to hurt the person involved. I should have been more protective of
his anonymity but foolishly I wasnt.
I have no desire to hurt anyone but it seems that I have, and I know the harm has already been done so, for whatever its worth, I am really truly honestly completely so sorry. I do feel awful.
When I write about my life, I do it to the full extreme, and I exaggerate, make it like a caricature. Its a joke, the point is the story, not the person.
Hurting and humiliating people over the internet isnt my kick, I had NO intention for it to be this way.
I am not sure about the outcome of this episode, whether I should continue with writing this site or not.
Sorry again.
October 16th, 2002 23:10
Oh, I am sorry to read this. I think I can feel with you, having gone through some very similar experience just the other week, and I sincerely hope the awful feelings will give way to … well, less awful ones, soon.
There is one thing I am absolutely sure of: You are a decent and considerate human being.
We love your stories, and we love the person and the personality behind these stories. Give yourself time. Whichever way you decide in the end, as far as continuing writing is concerned, don’t let this turn into something bitter. You meant no harm.
Take good care.
October 16th, 2002 23:48
This sort of thing will happen when you write publicly about your personal life. It’s unfortunate but don’t let it stop you from posting. I think you’ve got interesting, important stuff to share with the world.
You’ve done the right thing by removing the piece. Don’t let this situation silence you.
October 17th, 2002 16:51
Please don’t stop writing the site. It’s sad that you hurt someone but you’ve done a lot of good with this site too. I went thru this shidduch crap too and as have plenty of other people in the so-called frum world. You give us all a voice and a way to vent through you and laugh at ourselves. Plus you give me a taste of Israel and I miss it dearly.
Should you decide to stop I wish you the best of luck anyway in all your endeavors and you’ll get married soon, don’t you worry:)
-shimra
October 17th, 2002 17:51
why should our entertainment be considered more important than someone’s feelings? this site cracks me up and i’d hate to lose it, but really, i could just waste my time elsewhere on the web…
October 17th, 2002 19:23
Hi.
Don’t stop.
Your site shows also our view of the wonderful world of shidduchim. This is probably the only site I know which portrays us SDBTs (for non-initiated readers: Shidduch-Deficient Baalei Tshuva) in a positive way. Probably it’s the only site written by an SDBT.
That person is hurt? You bet he is: if I recognized myself in your site I would hate you forever and even more. But you can’t bring time back. All you can do is apologize and try to repair. You probably know how.
Yehi Ratzon vechule vechule.
P.S. completely unreleted to the above: This is better than Dilbert! Another reason for keeping writing…
October 17th, 2002 23:28
as you can see, people love this site. you speak for everyone who has and will go through the worst shidduchim, and you make them a fadicha-you laugh about them. not many other people can do that. so whatever you decide to do, know that we all think you are great, and your stories are better.
October 18th, 2002 00:36
the fact that you’r still contemplating(do you still love that word) doesn’t say much for yourself. do you think that hurting a single person a single time is worth anything you might get/ give from this trip?
October 18th, 2002 07:40
No Gary. That’s why I took the story off.
October 18th, 2002 22:20
No she. The entire site is completely ASURE.
October 19th, 2002 15:40
ASURE???? Vots zat mean?? I’ve tried to look it up in the dictionary of my sixteenth best friend’s laptop but couldn’t find it.
October 20th, 2002 23:18
its not about the single story. its about the whole culture of all the stories. your APOPLOGY reads just like any other of your sad excuse for a weak frum sex in the city.
its not so much the result as the process- for you and no one else.
October 21st, 2002 02:55
Gary, what’s so hard to grasp in “live and let live”? you don’t like it? don’t read it! you feel offended? don’t read it! If people enjoy it, let them judge their own moral. It’s no reason to make a big deal. People get hurt in every framework of life, but surely it’s not a reason to shut the planet off. Besides, your “sad excuse for a weak frum sex in the city” is an example for an uttering which is offensive if someone really wants to be offended by it. If not, it’s harmless.
October 21st, 2002 17:17
Joe, when last did you read “live and let live” in the torah
October 21st, 2002 18:13
Okay this has to be very clear – I went yesterday to ask a Rabbi about it, and he is my ONLY halachic authority. Not you (though you’re invited to email me your smicha). The truth is that I wasn’t sure what he’ll say; if he was telling me to take off the site – then I would have. The Rabbi said that other then the site being just fine halachically, I need to make sure that mistakes like this wont happen again. And I plan to.
I suggest, that if you feel offended by this site, just dont visit it. Cos we’re staying. But we’ll miss you greatly.
October 21st, 2002 21:59
glad to here youll miss me. just two questions: how much time has your rabbi spent on this site, and secondly; maybe he can help me out with that smicha you suggest i send you.
keep on hurting,
Gary
October 21st, 2002 23:26
darling, i see i missed a very important issue here? who got hurt by your funny, witty, smart, and great sotries? you must fill me in on all the details. and who is this awfull gary? keep on writing darling, we love you.
October 22nd, 2002 00:53
Gary is someone who knows what “sex and the city” is, while I had to ask my secular friend to find out what’s it about.
Interesting, ain’t it?
October 22nd, 2002 17:22
Gary, why don’t you meet with ME in a hotel lobby for a change. We could discuss some general matters there. I’d promise you that being German, I’d be on time; I’d promise the others that being German, it would take a loooooong while for me to tell you about the world in general and about my very important opinions on it in particular; and during that time, you’d leave she and the other folks here alone. Just to give them a break.
How about it? (I mean, she, we’re all doing what we can, aren’t we.)
October 22nd, 2002 22:26
I know this sounds bad, but I’m dying to read Gary’s story to see what was so terrible about it. I don’t think I got to that one.
October 23rd, 2002 10:11
I love you people, I truly do.
December 30th, 2002 06:12
sounds like Gary has some feelings of resentment, poor thing. maybe he should invest in a therapist?
December 30th, 2002 06:25
hmmm I dont know this Gary; The story that was taken off was not about him…
January 7th, 2003 03:00
Anyone know where I can get an instant smicha…
I’ve already been ordained as a reverend and fancy being a Rabbi for a change…
January 8th, 2003 23:04
oof! gary, don’t get so upset for other people. She is being very careful here to tell her story from the side of venting, not lashon hara, and always anonymously. the only thing i can come up with is you know that you’re an awful date and you’re scared that you’ll find your story here. if that’s what’s worrying you, just act like a mensh on every date from here on out, and you’ll be safe.
She – absolutely true re: being better than Dilbert. you’re the scott adams of the jewish dating world.
January 8th, 2003 23:19
Gosh! Thanks Dani!
April 11th, 2003 10:36
ok. I know it’s been forever since the whole “Gary” conversation, but I can’t believe Gary is that upset. She, anyone can see how hard you try to keep things anonymous, and I totally agree with your “it’s the story” point. plus, this website is totally unique and I for one, would be totally lost w/o it. I say, let Gary go, but She should stay! 🙂