Unbroken Glass

As far as I can recall it was the shortest date I’ve ever had. It couldnt last. Not for another minute.

This guy came to see me from out of town and Jerusalem isnt exactly the easiest place to find directions in when you dont know it well.
So I decided to be benevolent and to meet him in a known spot, where he can pick me up and we can safely drive together to where I actually want to have coffee in.
So, he picked me up.
Even before I got in the car I noticed that he was very good looking. It made me smile, a smile which faded almost immidiatly after few moments.
I got in the car and I very politly asked him how was the ride.
Simple question.
“What do you mean” he looked at me mildely confused.
“Ummm, I dont know, long, short, view, traffic, ride, you know?”
“Oh, right, Huh” was the very intellegent thing he said, didnt smile, just kept a silly incoherent face.
I thought maybe he was tired. Maybe he’s just stunned by my looks. Maybe he forgot his brain somewhere and will find it in the next few minutes to save the evening.
Ahh, Nope.
We got to the coffee shop and I asked him if thats OK by him.
“Uhhmm”. Thats all he said.
We sat down at a coffee shop and started talking.
I spoke really, he didnt really talk, just had this odd giggle whenever I said something slightly amusing. And when I said anything serious he just looked at me, well, not at me really, it felt more like he was looking THROUGH me, like he wasnt really getting any of what I’m saying.

And so it went.
I was getting uneasy, feeling like I was sitting with someone really, not dumb, just hollow, like there’s nothing there. Gurnisht.
I remember that the whole time I was thinking that this guy reminds me of a shoe.

I asked him how he became religious, and he started talking about his family, telling me they became frum few years before he did, while he was still secular, the whole story. Then I asked him
“So why did you eventually?”
“So why did I what”?
I thought I was about to scream at his ear WHY DID YOU BECOME RELIGIOUS I MEAN, but I didnt scream. I was quiet. I was shocked really, that I was in fact sitting with this person at the same table.

Usually, when the guy comes from out of Jerusalem just to see me, I feel it’s right to spend at least two hours with him, even if I’m not ecstatic.
But in this case I broke my own rule, I wasnt even completely aware that after percisly 50 minutes with this guy I stood up and said ” Okay so, shall we leave”?

I just couldnt bear it. I’m very delicate. These things can break me and I need to take care of my soul. And my nervous system of course.

I asked him to drop me off at my friend’s flat, she had to physically hold me from calling the shadchan with yells and screams, I had few things I wanted to enquire with him about how much he thinks of me, or, even more important at the moment, how much I think of him.

It was a wonderful evening really.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 30th, 2002 at 5:03 pm and is filed under She. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.