A Piece Of Advice
Gather around people, I need some help here.
I just saw Bridget Jone’s Diary again and it made me feel all horrible.
Maybe I should have just married Mark Darcy.
I don’t know, it’s been almost a year now. And the truth is that he was in fact an Okay guy.
And he liked me.
I mean, seriously.
But I was just so crushed I couldn’t think straight.
My eyes use to water every time he wasnt looking. I hardly think it was the right time for dating.
He wasnt groovy or anything but I guess groove is overrated anyway. And all the groovy people I’ve met were utterly and completely and incredably messed up.
Maybe I have to make myself start liking those nice boys who really are okay and nice and normal and have no issues and wont hurt me instead of falling for those men who walk into my life, tear out my heart, dance all over it and frankly don’t give a damn whether I breathe or choke.
I’m thinking of calling him to see if he’s willing to go out with me again.
I promise to be nice to him this time.
But then again, maybe it’s silly, maybe he hates me, maybe he’ll say no, maybe he’s married with 3 children by now, and maybe life really isn’t a stupid movie.
What to do?
October 6th, 2002 13:29
of course you should call. maybe he is all those things plus fat, but maybe he is thinking of you and saying id love to call her but she rejected me…if only shed call me.
October 7th, 2002 16:14
CALL NOW
October 8th, 2002 13:56
Call him only if you really want to be with him.
No one likes to be at second place , not him nor you , And don’t forget he might be hurt because you’re the one who rejected him.
You might have to applogise.
And yes , I’ve got married because I had the guts to say that I was wrong.
Every one can do mistakes.
October 14th, 2002 01:22
one rav once told me: “bring just one thing from your secular world- your heart”. this is what i have to say to you. i just killed myself by going on a ten dates shiduch with a mark darcy, thinking maybe i will fall in love with him. maybe he will start my fire- and ‘boy was i wrong. the mistake i made was that i was thinking with my brain and not my heart. and you can’t love someone through yor brain. no despair the normal and exciting will come.
October 15th, 2002 07:46
I think you should say the heck with it and just call. Besides that, I disagree with Karen’s comment that one has to only think with his heart. I think it’s a combination of the two with the brain rightly being the location where most of one’s thinking is done-even about a mate and so it should be the foremost decider of love. If you think with your heart it could lead to an allusion of love since to the heart lust can many times appear as love. However, if you think rationally about, analyzing why you like this person then you will come to a more accurrate assessment as to whether that person is really for you. The heart’s two uses are mainly providing one with blood and assisting one in prayer. Let the brain handle the mate part.
October 16th, 2002 08:34
It’s both head and heart. You need to feel something for the person..even if you’re just feeling “hey, this isn’t bad.” And logically he needs to fit in with what you want out of life. But sometimes we overanalyze our dates. Sometimes, if there is some expectation that our date doesn’t meet..we allow our minds to pick on everything else so that we can justify our actions. If you’re asking for opinions..I would tell you not to call unless you really see potential. If you are willing to put your initial feelings aside and go out with an open mind.. Go For It! And if you do go for it.. I would suggest the following:
1) don’t discuss it with any friends or anyone else for that matter. discuss it with only one person (a Rav would be best)
2) don’t allow yourself too much time to think about it. keep yourself busy. that will allow you to just focus on whether or not you enjoy spending time with him.
Both 1 and 2 will prevent you from overanalyzing and will help you maintain a balance of thinking and feeling.
Hatzlacha…either way!
October 16th, 2002 17:46
DON’T !!!! He does not deserve you. And after all, who needs men?
See, I’m saying this for purely altruistic reasons plus WE DESPERATELY NEED MORE OF THESE STORIES and who would write them once you’d have crossed that line?
Ah by the way, it’s in the genes, I can’t deny it. Hard as I may work on it, I just CAN’T be late for an appointment … Whatever I try, I will always be on time. End zen zis terribel acksent all the time. You were ever so right when you dismissed zat uzzer German.
He’ll probably file a law suit against me ’cause I’m the guy who sold him that manual on “How to become relaxed and likeable in just above 30 years”. (It’s ridden in ze German langwitch, off curse.)