Unbroken Glass

This is a positive story. I didnt get married or anything inconceivable like that, but, well, someone else did, so it should do.

I had a flat mate who was in the dating game.
and she was in a middle of a long and exhausting shidduch; though I knew they were not right for each other, she persisted going out with him.

My shadchan phoned me and offered me to go out with a guy who was new in the teshuva world, but said (how shocking) that he’s a great guy and that’s not a good enough reason to turn this down etc.
So I told him to tell the guy to give me a call, I like to hear them on the phone, to see if it’s worth it.
The guy called me and I laughed for about an hour with him on the phone. I forgot how normal they are when they’re still fresh and not yet completely brainwashed by the yeshivish world.
So we made a date, and agreed to meet (how shocking) at a coffee shop.
He was very funny and clever, and he smiled all the time, which was refreshing after meeting with all those serious depressing guys who only speak about the Yetzer Hora in those fatalistic tones.

The whole time I was thinking about my flatmate.
This guy was exactly was she’s looking for.
We kept talking very casually, laughing and making jokes like we were old friends. And he even made ME feel like we were, which was even better.

Now, this guy wasnt from Jerusalem so he asked me, if I dont mind, to come with him to the Kotel for ma’ariv. he was pretty excited about the whole idea too.
He drove and I navigated him to the old city. It was all very fun and pleasant, till we reached a right turn, which I told him he had to take.
“But it’s a one-way street” he said.
“Trust me” I told him, “take the turn”.
He hesistated for a second, then did the wrongest thing he could have, which was listen to me, and took the turn.
We turned right. And there in front of us, smiling smugly, was a police officer. He very politely told us to pull over.
My date pulled over, stopped the car, gave me a sharp and meaningful look, and went outside to beg for mercy.

Just as he shut the car door, I rang my flatmate.
“I got your future husband into trouble” I said, laughing.
“What? where are you? aren’t you suppose to be out on a date”? she asked.
“I am” I told her, “great guy, extremely funny, only, there’s just one problem…”
“what? and why are you on the phone with me now anyways?”
She sounded mildly incoherent.
“Well, dear, the problem is that he’s really YOUR HUSBAND” I told her.
“Oh, come on, give it a chance!” she cried. she knows me well and she’s kind of used to how I behave on dates, and, well, she really wanted me to get married and get the hell out of the flat.
I was calm.
I explained to her that now wasn’t the time to talk about it, but that I was really excited to see their wedding and how their children turn out.
She hung up on me, while I was still laughing.

The date ended pretty uneventfully – the guy finally convinced the police that he was really very nice and it was all the fault of THAT GIRL IN THE CAR and he was really just trying to daven maariv at the kotel.
They probably got tired of the whole thing because they finally sent him away. He came back to the car, we prayed devoutly and parted ways.

I got back home and started talking to my friend.
Soon enough I realised she was trying to ignore me, with not much luck.
She said some irrelevant things about how she was in fact in a middle of a shidduch “as we speak”, how he might be THE ONE and how she was really trying to give it her best, and all kinds of things about how unfair it was of me to tell her I’d found her husband, where SHE thought she’d found him too, and he wasnt the same guy.
I told her she needed to dump that boring, flat-minded guy and go on a date with the one I had just met.
She was stubborn.
Whatever, see if I care.
But of course, a few weeks later HE HIMSELF dumped HER. I gave her about a week to moan before beginning to bug her constantly about my idea for her.
I can be quite naggy.
Really.
So, she decided to give it a go just to make me shut up for a change.
she went out with him once and apparently had a great time.
So they continued dating.
She went out with him for months and months, he was insanely in love with her; she wasnt quite so sure.
I got a little tired of the matter and one day I grabbed her in the kitchen and nearly choked her, yelling she has so come to a decision. NOW.
I mean, hey, the guy was dying…
So she decided not. she dumped him.
I kept quiet.

She basically went insane for the next two months, till they, how surprising, got back together and decided to..TA..TA..TAM!…get married!
But she still wasnt sure.
She had only fantastic and wonderful things to say about him, but she felt like she needed MORE.

A DAY before the wedding she cried and went completely nuts at the flat. After the wedding (which was, b.t.w, awesome, THANKS GUYS FOR ALL THE TEQUILAS!) I didnt dare calling her. I dont want to know, it was never my idea in the first place and who knows this guy anyway??

She phoned me about two or three weeks later.
I guess I was a little indiscreet about not being in touch with her. I mean if anything went wrong it was obviously going to be my fault.
I was terrified. But…
She was happy.
And she was revoltingly in love with him, I couldnt believe it. I asked her how’s
married life and she said that other than the fact that she nearly put his cell phone in the washing machine along with his trousers, she never imagined it to be that much fun.

At least they payed me for it.
I mean, being spinster and lunatic isn’t much fun if you cant afford it.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 16th, 2002 at 1:07 am and is filed under She. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.